LET’S TRY TO GET A REAL LIMERICK CONTEST STARTED AGAIN HERE ON THE BLOG!
Hello Limerick Lovers,
Thanks to those of you who entered a limerick in www.limerickcontests.com. Like you, I love these funny rhymes and hoped the limerick contest would catch on with creative writers.Many people from all over the world visited the site, but there weren’t enough entrants for Sedric, the Chief Leprechaun, to award the 6 prizes listed. That’s hardly a contest!
I can’t figure out if the $2 entry fee was too much, or the prize not enough, so here’s what I’m going to try:
1.Totally revise the website – probably put it into this “blog” format.
2.Eliminate the entry fee – no cost to enter – limerick writers will be able to post their limericks as “comments” to this blog where anyone with a computer can read it and send links to their friends and families.
3.Replace the cash prizes with ones of literary or artistic merit. (That means books and/or fine art prints.)
4.When there are sufficient entries to make the competition fun, visitors to the website will be asked to vote for their favorites and the prizes awarded based on votes. May even let the winner choose the prize he or she wants, and then second prize chooses and so on.Here are some wonderful limericks by the few writers brave enough to enter the “old” contest on www.limerickcontests.com.They will be in the running for prizes in the “new” contest. Details will be posted here!
The bouquet, though thrown with much grace
Hit the bridesmaid square in the face.
She made this request,
“Next time would be best
If you took it out of the vase.”
Ed Harvey
The hill-billy’s one claim to fame
Was he married a good looking dame.
She left him one day
And to his dismay
She took everything but his “good” name.
Ed Harvey
At the zoo a boy said to his mother
“I heard one monkey ask of another,
‘I can’t see the link,
So, what do you think?
Am I my keeper’s brother?’”
Ed Harvey
Stopped for speeding and D.W.I.
He said, “Officer, please let me by.
It’s not you I’m fleeing
With you I’m agreeing,
But I’m broke and it was my turn to buy.”
Ed Harvey
There once was a vampire named Judd
Whose career was nipped in the bud.
He didn’t mind that
He flew like a bat
But he fainted each time he saw blood.
Ed Harvey
Krystal was good on the ice,
Her skating was better than nice.
It wasn’t her fate
For a great figure eight
So she skated the letter “O” twice!
Beth Shafer
There once was a boy from Peru
Who swore he had nothing to do.
He cursed and he stammered
Looked down and then hammered
A nail in the floor to his shoe.
Wanda Obermeier
As Thanksgiving came rolling around,
Not one blessed turkey was found
They all had absconded,
From being impounded,
And baked, buttered, basted and browned.
Flora Darling
A meeting of turkeys concurred,
Thanksgiving to be quite absurd,
So they made a quick contact,
For a Mafia contract,
To prevent the consumption of bird.
Flora Darling
I think, said the turkey, I’ll pass,
Your Thanksgiving dinner, alas,
For I have no intention,
To believe your abstention,
Of fowl in favor of bass.
Flora Darling
A confab of turkeys held court,
And consuming two bottles of port,
They boycotted Thanksgiving,
By all turkeys living,
And rented a seaside resort.
Flora Darling
If you would like to enter an original limerick, please post yours as a comment here.
As soon as I see if there is enough interest to keep the contest going, I'll post details and prizes right here on this blog!
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About Me
- Dick Harrison
- Venice, Florida, United States
- In addition to being a longtime Barter Exchange member, I'm an artist, cartoonist, writer, podcaster and blogger on all things artistic. Please visit my website: www.salestipsforartists.com. It has been visted by artists from almost 700 cities in more than 60 countries. I think you will enjoy the visit!
15 comments:
Dear friends of the limerick sort,
I hereby am pledging support
To this 5-liner thread.
As old Ed Lear once said,
"What a shame if it were to abort!"
Christmas and New Year's have gone,
I'm the credit card company's pawn!
All year to work,
no day will I shirk,
or bank accounts will be overdrawn!
Dear Liz, you are proof that the art
Is nowhere near soon to depart.
Not en-route to the morgue,
Try this: limericks.org
With three Ws placed at the start.
Doug, to you I give thanks,
am pleased to join in the ranks.
The art may have bled,
but Limerick's not dead,
since so many people fire blanks!
I consider myself a rhyme pro,
I have my own site don't you know?
But when a site offer prizes,
A man realizes,
You can't always get paid with real dough.
An amorous black widow spider
Decided to cast her net wider.
Upon meeting her match,
She cried out: "Down the hatch!"
Now the masculine spider's inside 'er.
There was a man. He sat on a fan. He cried out for help. Somebody yelped, but he didn't help. He noticed a man he thought was a hog, playing with his dog whose name was fog. He put the fan in his hand and said you need to play in a band.
There once was a fellow named Trevor,
Who went on this great poop endeavor.
He pushed and he squeezed,
But he never was pleased.
So he sat on the toilet forever.
Larry Asmus
Ph: 909/864-3533
E-mail: larryasmus@sbcglobal.net
Writer’s Dilemma
Where foul ‘Bleeps’ are read, wise men fear to tread.
A wise writer will leave “Nantucket” unsaid.
“Don’t use it”, I’ve heard
‘bout the four letter word.
But I’d rather be outspoken and read!
Larry Asmus
Ph: 909/864-3533
E-mail: larryasmus@sbcglobal.net
“W”
There once was a President “W”.
Republicans thought him a good fellow too.
But we had foreign war,
And debts more and more.
Don’t any of these problems trouble you?
Limerick Trick
Larry Asmus
Ph#909/864-3533
E-mail larryasmus@sbcglobal.net
There once was a rhyme scheme named Limerick.
But writing one has made me nearly sick!
I stare at the clock,
Due to my writer’s block.
I need a line quick, to just do the trick!
Jimmy was a lad, sad, lonely, and blue.
Long days filled with no one to woo.
He found a bawdy, little lass
To lay aft and laden his mast.
She turned out he, turned out her name, it was Stu.
Today my very own guide
said that he had hurt his side
he went out to dance
and pulled down his pants
and he then ran ran away to hide
The limerick's awkward and odd,
At times it can be such a sod
Just to rhyme. But the story?
It can cause such furore!
Nonetheless, please feel free to applaud.
So the work's not all been in vain,
My body's taking shape again.
But not all is bliss,
For consider this:
Now my weakest part is my brain!
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